People want to know that their lives matter. But to whom or what?
A friend of mine who lost his only child shared with me he had no hope, no desire to heal from the loss of his one and only child. He felt it was so different than my loss because I found purpose to live, which includes my two remaining children, (I have lost 2) and my grandson. With the loss of my first child and at the time, only child, I related to what he said. It was different. No one understood child loss, let alone an only child.
I am grateful that I had 3 more children in the following years. Now I have experienced the tragedy of losing my one and only son. I found purpose in my children and to help fellow loss travelers. No one deserves to travel this journey alone, without help or support.
In the 27 years between losses, I gained so many life tools and resources. They were helpful in working through divorce, both parents passing, my sister passing, two children in 12-step drug addiction programs and living with an alcoholic. I never knew what they were preparing me for. I am now grateful that I learned from adversity. I have taken those tools and now help others learn to live with their grief, find happiness and go from tragedy to purpose.
The good that people make from bad does not make the bad event “worthwhile,” let alone indicate that the event was cosmically intended, but it can help people deal with their trauma and derive some meaning from it.
In the loss of life, it can be incredibly challenging to make sense let alone find purpose. The hard fact is that there is no avoiding the reality that lives end, when we do not plan them. As a parent, we expect to outlive our children. We feel powerless to help others in such circumstances. There is one thing that we can do, and that is to bear witness and show that we care.
I want to share a story of going from tragedy to purpose. Jess Greise is a friend that I met through a business coach and a health and wellness company. Jess lost her son Tom in a crash involving a drunk driver. Of course, she grieves the loss of her son and misses him daily. However, she now is incredibly involved with Mothers Against Drunk Driving, MADD. She and Tom’s friend’s family that was also killed in the accident, are 2020 and 2021 honorary families for MADD. They will be speaking on behalf of the organization and is dedicated to saving lives and keeping others from this unnecessary pain.
Please support her efforts by watching her video.