I Don’t Deserve This

My wallet was stolen – on Mother’s Day!

In the past 60 days I replaced a garage door, a kitchen range and my brother passed away. And now this, some man stole my wallet. This caused me to start thinking about the litany of things that have happened to me.

It started with having my tonsils removed when I was 5 years old, my house was burglarized by one of my friends’ brothers and I was in a car accident with my sister.

As an adult, I have had multiple surgeries, got divorced, and been in two more automobile accidents. I’ve grieved the death of two children, my parents, and my sister.

And now this – my wallet is gone, stolen by some man that enjoys harming other people, taking what is not his and making life difficult for others.

I take responsibility for leaving my purse open while shopping at Kohl’s department store. I set it down to check out a piece of luggage. I noticed a man looking at luggage and didn’t think anything of it. He left the area and when he returned for the tennis shoes he forgot, I said, “here ya go, you might want these!” He then went by my open purse and stole my wallet.

Less than 5 minutes later I was at the checkout stand. When I opened my purse to pay for the suitcase, there was no wallet to be found. I immediately told the clerk my wallet was stolen and asked for their help in looking for the man who was by me in the luggage department.

I was shaking because he had stolen from me! I was angry because I showed kindness to him by handing him the shoes! I couldn’t believe what just happened. As I walked around the store and the parking lot, I imagined finding the perpetrator and tackling him. No mind that he was 6 feet tall and probably outweighed me by 70 pounds. I didn’t care if he was bigger – I just wanted to retrieve my wallet and what was mine.

I received a text alert that someone was using my credit card for a purchase of over $2,000.00 at the Sam’s Club nearby. By this time, police had arrived at Kohl’s. Upon receipt of the message, we headed to Sam’s.

The thief was ahead of us by no more than 5 minutes. Five minutes too late though. However, between the time I received the text message, remembering what the man looked like, and the items being purchased, I should be able to identify the man on the security tapes from Sam’s Club. I bet I am not the only one he has done this too. He staked me out at Kohl’s, attempted to purchase non-trackable gift cards and did so in a matter of minutes from stealing my wallet. This guy was a pro.

I felt violated while running the list of bad things through my head. Awful things were happening. I told myself I was like a bad penny that kept returning. I had bad luck. Something else terrible was going to happen. I started feeling sorry for myself. My life sucked. I was being drawn into a pity party.

Yes, I was angry – angry at myself and angry at the thief. I believe that if I did not express my anger, it would have bottled up to the point of wanting to seek revenge and consuming my thoughts every waking moment. I didn’t like where this was taking me. I decided to turn things around. This was not going to serve me. That is not the way I want to live my life, no matter what bad thing has happened or caused trauma.

My mission in life is to be joyful, grateful, positive, encouraging, present and be the best possible version of myself in personal and professional relationships, exemplify Christ in my life so that I am an example of what is possible.

Using my life mission statement, I decided to learn something from my experience – don’t leave my purse unattended! I hope that sharing my story of having my wallet stolen keeps someone else from having to go through it.

I prayed for healing my myself and that the thief be found. I also forgave him. For lack of forgiveness will eat me alive. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting and not having him pay the consequences. For me, it means letting go of the anger.

I also prayed for this man’s soul; that he will find the error of his ways and seek to correct what he has done, to me and to others.

“I don’t deserve this!” Truth. I don’t deserve this, no one does. There are people in this world who have had possessions stolen, had physical challenges and experienced the loss of a loved one. My trials and tribulations do not make me special. Everyone goes through something at some time or another. It is how we respond to them that gives us the ability to stop the pity party and move forward.


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