It is human nature to be drawn to the negative. Think about what you see and hear on the news – devastation, tragedy, and negativity. Bad news sells. Have you noticed these stories get 10 times the attention over happy, positive, and inspiring messages?
The same applies to emotions and thoughts in grief. Those negative emotions are focused on more than the positive. Over an extended period of time, they can take up valuable space and energy that could otherwise be devoted to your grief recovery. Undesirable thoughts can overshadow positive emotions, closing the door to the possibility of helpful ones slipping in to replace the negative.
Mindset is a collection of thought patterns and beliefs that shape your view of reality. It is a story you tell yourself about your identity and about the world around you. Changing your mindset is one of the most beneficial things you can do to help deal with your emotions. It is also one of the hardest.
The more you think the same thoughts over and over, the more ingrained they become into your mindset. These thoughts literally form pathways in your brain by connecting neurons over and over again. It is like a well-worn path through a field. If you walk the same path over and over, you will wear down the grass. The same thing happens in your brain as you reinforce certain neural pathways through repeated thoughts.
I get asked, “how do I shift my mindset, so I change from the negative thoughts to the positive ones?”
You can start by thinking differently about your circumstances. Instead of telling yourself that you do not know how to overcome your loss, that you do not deserve happiness, that you are responsible for your child’s passing, or even that you cannot live without them, now or ever. It is no wonder you might be having difficulty working through your emotions when these are untruths guiding every thought you have.
Turn this around by telling yourself that you can learn how to navigate this season in your life. You may not have all the tools now or any as a matter of fact. However, once you learn a few, you will understand that you will make it through your loss, you deserve happiness, you are not responsible for your child’s death, and you can live a fulfilling and productive life without them. Moving forward. you will see how to experience peace joy and happiness with focus on the positive. Brain fog will reduce, heartache and despair well go down. By altering what you tell yourself, you will gain clarity that there is hope which will help you to achieve happiness and peace without feeling guilt or shame.
You have taken a good look at the way you think about your circumstances and situation. It is time to learn how to think differently about them. Using affirmations is a simple and easy way to modify your thinking patterns.
Here are my most requested affirmations. Say these everyday and you will start to shift your negative thoughts to positive ones which will help you move through your grief.
Today is a good day for healing. — Every day that you survive takes you one step closer from grief to healing. Start your day off with this affirmation, wiring positivity into your thoughts for the rest of the day.
I have changed as a result of my grief. — With the death of a loved one comes significant change. Your role at home and work will change as does your identity. Some people may tell you that things will resume as they were. The reality is that you will need to live with a new normal. Things will no longer be the same. You will become a different person. Hold on to the thought that, regardless of loss.
My life has meaning. — You were born with a meaning and purpose in mind. I know this to be true. While I do not like the circumstances I have been dealt, I now have a greater purpose to live than before. I am here to honor my son by helping other mothers move through physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual suffering caused by child suicide and live a meaningful and purposeful life. It is important to cherish the memories you have. They will last a lifetime.
#mentalhealth
#griefrecovery
#moveforward
#peace
#joy
#happiness
