Overcoming Fear and Embracing Change

I am in the process of selling my home and moving into a different one. It is something I have dreamed of for a long time. I have planned and strategized over how, when, and where. Realizing my dream is exciting yet I have fear around it. I second guess the finances, whether I can maintain a new mortgage, in spite of all the numbers looking good. Sometimes my mind races with the multiple decisions I need to make in order to prepare my current home to be sold. This is a huge change.
What have you not done or tried because you were afraid of the outcome? Was it a situation or circumstance that required you to adjust, asking someone out on a date, or requesting a raise? It might have involved facing the loss of a loved one and the acceptance that comes with it.
We are hard wired to resist change. However, we as humans are pliable, flexible, and adaptable. We can learn to thrive on change and the uncertainty that comes with it.
There are some adjustments that we may not spend too much time thinking about. The changing of seasons causes us to adapt to the number of hours of daylight, wardrobe, and activities. We get used to this because it is cyclical. You can count on it happening every year. What about those one-time changes? Ones that occur once or twice?
Our fear of change is based on stories, both real and imagined ones. You may have heard or seen the acronym:





Fear can be paralyzing. It can stop you from achieving your dreams and realizing your potential. It can be the roadblock that keeps you from moving forward after death of a loved one. There are two major responses to fear: biochemical and emotional. Fear alerts us to the presence of danger or the threat of harm, whether that danger is physical or psychological. Sometimes fear stems from real threats, but it can also originate from imagined dangers.

What does fear look and feel like?

Fear can be the knot in your stomach anytime you think about your challenge. It can cause physical symptoms of headache, nausea, anxiety. Your heart rate may increase, or you may experience shortness of breath. Your sleep patterns may be altered, and you may totally avoid the situation.

Dealing with fear can be exhausting and can rob you of enthusiasm and energy. It is critical to overcome your fear to regain hope, peace, and joy.

Fear can control you – if you let it. It is important to face your fear and live life on your terms. You are the captain of your ship. Make up your mind to take charge. Nothing good comes out of allowing your fear to rule your thoughts, actions, and behaviors. Instead, you must learn how to become skillful at the art of exposing your deepest fear, facing your fear, and being able to take the next step to overcome it.

How to Overcome Fear

  • Learn to trust yourself. Trust that you can make good decisions.
  • Test the stories you have created. Challenge them and ask if they indeed are true.
  • See fear as a challenge. I have found that change has been a prerequisite for personal growth and strength in all aspects of life.
  • Identify your fear. What is it exactly that you are afraid of? Understanding it empowers you to address it.
  • Question what and how you think. Each time a fear-based thought enters your head, you have a choice. You can accept it as the story you believe in, or you can question it and think about it differently.
  • Give yourself grace. You are learning a new skill. Keep working on it.
  • Breathe through your fear. One symptom of facing fear is an increased heart rate. One tool to use when fear raises its ugly head is to use your breathing to minimize the impact fear has on you.
  • Concentrate on the positive outcomes after the change.

I am focusing on why I want to move from a multi-unit condominium to a single-family home to help overcome my fear. My dog needs a backyard to roam free at her leisure. I want my three grandchildren to have a place to play without worrying about their safety. A larger home will allow me to have family and friends stay with me. I can dig in the mud, mow the lawn, and shovel the sidewalk – things that I haven’t done in 10 years.

It is worth it to face my fear so I can realize my dream of living in a single-family home.






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