The kind of day Connor would have wanted…

The memorial dedication was perfect.

It was a brisk Colorado Sunday afternoon. Snow covered the ground, a small breeze kept it at a lovely 35 degrees. Just the kind of day Connor loved. Friends gathered around the hot coffee, greeted each other as if it were just yesterday and a sense of uncertainty hung on the air. What would the moment look like? What was everyone feeling? Would it be sad?

Many of Connor’s friends attended as so did others who know me A.C, After Connor. They came to support me; they came to get to know Connor through the eyes of others. They were not disappointed.

Memories were spoken. Memories were written. Memories about skunks, metal bands, hugs, cooking, dancing, tie-dye Friday, skateboarding, cats, dogs, energy, spirit, calmness, the Sand Dunes, Cornerstone and, how he helped others. Love. “Always room for one more.” Giving and so much more. Even one that Connor saved his life – literally.

I knew that Connor was with us in spirit. He was happy to have his friends there. He was excited to have a tree and memorial rock at one of his favorite places, Redstone Skate Park.

I knew that day, that moment, many would find peace. Friends shared they felt better. They were happy they joined us. They were comforted in knowing we are okay. They felt Connor’s presence as well. They left with a positive outlook. The uncertainty became gratitude for the moment, the celebration and having known Connor.

Connor is at peace. I am at peace. I did not realize how much dedicating his memorial would take me to a new level of joy and happiness. This chapter of my mourning is closed. It was beautifully written.

I am ready to fulfill my legacy – which is to relieve suffering caused by child loss and teach mothers how to cope with their grief.

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